Thursday, March 6, 2008

On Not Wanting to Find a Babysitter

I've been meaning to write something about babysitters, specifically how my wife and I haven't found an in-town babysitter yet. Not that we've been trying. We've tried to try, occasionally. We talk about how it would be nice if we could both go out with friends to a show or go to a movie just the two of us and leave the baby with a reliable person whose references we've checked. There is a desire on both our parts to get out and have a nice time once in a while without baby responsibilities, going places babies can't go: A nice, adult dinner-and-a-movie, or perhaps a burger basket in a downtown pub on a Friday night. However, there is also a lot of reluctance to actually spend that time away from our little boy.

So we'll talk for a while, whistfully remembering things we once did, lightly complaining about how we don't have family in town and it's hard to just take some time for ourselves, and planning possible dates. But then my wife expresses reluctance, and I can see on her face that she already misses the baby just by talking about it. I miss him too. I understand how she feels. This morning, she and the baby dropped me off at work, which is a change from our usual routine (another sick day from daycare, this time with his mom). As they pulled away from the curb, I watched my baby zip away from me in his rear-facing seat, craned my neck to catch one last glimpse of his face, and felt a brief pang of emotion, missing him already. I never really understood what the emotional connection to one's child would be like before experiencing it.

It isn't like we're really tied down with the little lad, anyway. We were both mostly homebodies to begin with, and he sleeps so well at night that we always have just-the-two-of-us time each night after baby bedtime. Also, it's not like either of us has a lot of friends, especially not nearby. And those friends we have are actually legitimately interested in the baby, so we don't really want to exclude him from the group.

I suppose we're eventually going to have to find someone we trust who can look after him. It's just difficult to start the process because we aren't in a hurry.

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