Mother's Day Approaches

Mother's Day is this coming Sunday in the United States, and Garrison Keillor has these words to share in his column at Salon.com:

She knows when you're in trouble. And you will get into deep trouble someday. Count on it. Someone will file a lawsuit against you and subpoena your e-mail and it will all come flooding out, your dark secrets, your nefarious dealings, and your friends will cross the street to avoid you and your brothers and sisters will fade into the woodwork, but your mother will still love you. Like an old lioness, she'll come running even if you're 2,000 miles away.

Reading this, it really rings true with how my wife and I have come to feel about our own progeny. When you meet your baby for the first time, he's a tiny, little stranger and you wonder if you'll ever feel that overwhelming love that so many people talk about. After a year with our boy, we're absolutely dedicated to being on his side come whatever may. We never knew we could feel that way about anyone besides each other.

Breastfeeding Reflections from Clever Mom

Clever Mom contributes the following regarding breast milk:

Dr. Sydney Spiesel wrote about a recent breast-feeding study for slate.com. They studied breast feeding in Belarus, and discovered that breast feeding played no role in reducing respiratory infections (but did reduce diarrhea and eczema), and in no way affected the behavior of the child at 6.5 years, or the mother's satisfaction with her marriage and family. The author is shocked, I am not. Dr. Spiesel concludes that the child is likely to do best if the mother chooses a method of feeding that works best for the family.

I believe that breast feeding is best for babies, especially newborns. And I think that new moms should be encouraged to give it a shot, because it starts the baby out with a food that definitely will be easily digestible (there are lots of different kinds of formula because some babies can't digest/are allergic to regular formula.) It also saves tons of money, is better for the earth, and helps new moms drop baby weight quickly. But I think the health benefits are very overblown, and I think it creates far too much stress on inexperienced mothers to expect them to care for an infant, go back to work, and be a baby food factory all at once.

I think breastfeeding is likely easier than formula feeding for stay at home moms, but for me at least breastfeeding and working full time was far more stressful than it was worth. I realized that since I spent 2 hours a day pumping and cleaning pump parts, 9 hours working and commuting, and my baby slept for 12 hours I only spent a single hour a day with my baby. So when he was 7 months old I hung up my Medula and got an extra 15 minutes in the morning and hour at night with my sweetie (and I didn't spend my lunch holding bottles to my boobs.) Women flocked to the workforce in the 60s and 70s because they had the option of feeding formula, and I think women are turning each other into guilty slaves by demanding that if they go back to work they still must breast feed. Granted, I think it is great that employers are offering lactation rooms, but I don't like the currently predominate school of thought that you are only allowed to go back to work if you dedicate yourself to pumping full time and working full time.

So basically I think moms should try breastfeeding, but you should ultimately go with the feeding plan that works best for your family. I also think it is important to frequently reevaluate your decision, to make sure that "not a drop of formula will pass through my baby's lips" is really a goal that will make you and your family happiest in the long run.

Online "Free" Credit Reports Not Always So Free

American Public Media's 5-minute daily tech show Future Tense did an episode yesterday about Freecreditreport.com and similar websites (link goes to site where you can stream this episode). Several years ago, the U.S. federal government required credit agencies Experian, Equifax, and Transunion to put up the website AnnualCreditReport.com, where you can actually get a free, annual credit report. Since then, these same credit agencies have put up other websites with similar names. These other sites often include "free" in the web address, but they actually exist to try and sell you unnecessary, additional credit services that the average consumer doesn't really need. So, despite the advice of the singing pirate guy, you should probably stick with AnnualCreditReport.com if you want a report that is easy to get and actually free.

Saving on Regular Monthly Expenses

I'm a believer in taking stock of your regular monthly expenses and thinking seriously about what could be cut or reduced. What you find and the action steps you choose to take will vary depending on your situation. What my wife and I found a couple of years back is that it made no sense to keep a land line phone when we had a cellphone plan. We also found that we are people who can live without cable television and never really miss it. (In fact, we know that if we did have cable, we would be unable to resist the lure of watching pure garbage. I just can't take the risk of seeing more than one episode of VH1's Rock of Love.)

More recently, we found a way to cut our high-speed internet bill by $20. We're honest with ourselves when it comes to the fact that we are people who need the internet. A good deal of our information and entertainment comes from the web, and it's also rather important when it comes to our personal correspondence and shopping. We had been paying quite a bit for cable internet, and while researching other options we realized that our cable company offers a lower tier of broadband internet at a significantly lower price. This is still broadband - just slower than the 11 mbps he had been paying for. From the research I did, all of the things we use the internet for (YouTube, email, research, news) should still work fine. I just called them yesterday to make the switch, and I'm already feeling about $20 cleverer.

"Benign Neglect" versus Overstimulation

This morning I listened to a recent edition of the BBC 4 radio program Bringing Up Britain (available to stream online here). The topic was one that I think all of us modern parents think about a lot when comparing our own childhoods to today's world: what is the right balance of free play (running around the yard, exploration without guidance, sitting around, thinking, "hanging out" with friends) to structured time (piano lessons, sports, band, speech team, baby swim lessons). This brings up a lot of other questions that I've only begun to explore on this website.

The First Windows-Open Day of Spring

Pictured above: A view of My Fair City, April 2004

Today was the fairest day so far this spring. It was sunny all day and the afternoon temperature reached 74 degrees. The only negative thing was a bit of a stiff wind, and even that - considering that every other aspect of the day was on its best behavior - was merely an exhilarating tousle of the hair. After picking up my son from daycare, doing some banking, shopping for groceries, and having a little snack with him at the dinner table, we both settled into the sort of afternoon nap a person remembers fondly years later. I found myself meandering easily in and out of consciousness in my sunny bedroom, intermittently aware of the sound of birds and my son breathing in the next room. A profound calm came over me. I realize this is something I feel every year, but only fully understand when I'm in the midst of it. This is the true beginning of spring. This is human life becoming easier, lighter.

While the boy still slept, I went to the kitchen to brew some iced tea.

Buying Toys From Consignment

I cannot put enough emphasis on how great it is to buy toys secondhand, be it from consignment stores, thrift shops, online auction, classified ads or what have you. I've mentioned before how babies grow out of things so quickly that used supplies and toys are often in great condition. Recently, realizing that our son wanted some independent practice in the art of walking, we stopped by a local consignment superstore and found a cute toy ice cream cart, which was the perfect height for our baby and had just the right amount of stability to help a beginning walker keep his face off the floor during those afternoon constitutionals around the living room. This was five dollars well spent, and it's in equal or better condition that the toys he plays with during his mornings at daycare.